Objets Trouvé

When Bertie pounces on something that belongs to somebody else, he dances, prances and capers and I say sorry; but my heart isn’t in it; it’s an objet trouvé.

This objet is too big for Bertie so he didn’t drag it home. I didn’t, so who did and why? Well, I’m delighted ‘cos it’s a beautiful bit of natural sculpture and has a purpose. It’s not a table for drinks and nibbles; just the right height for Bertram the beagle to participate. Clue: it’s only used by Robert.

The lockdown has consequences. On a macro level it is obvious that airlines are in trouble because their ‘planes are grounded and they may be leasing aircraft. But airlines buy derivatives to protect themselves against their fuel costs going up. Under normal circumstances this is sensible. If the price of jet fuel goes up they have to pay more but make money on their hedge. If prices fall they lose money but buy cheaper jet fuel. What no risk manager envisaged was prices falling and no ‘planes flying.

Closer to home, Transport for London pledged £25 million to prop up Hammersmith Bridge. I expect that project to be put on hold. Even closer to home the planning application for two hotels outside the bathroom window is still under consideration. I wonder if the developer will want to proceed when their other hotels are closed?

As this situation developed I imagined that money, the folding matter, might run out as the ATMs might not be replenished. I stocked up but in the event I have not used real money since Monday 16th March. It was to pay our cleaner and now he is getting paid on a Standing Order. Without digressing too much, I recommend not wearing spectacles in the bathroom. A lot of grubbiness is obscured. My sister told me years ago she never wears specs in the dining room – she can see the cobwebs. Well, it looks like in London we are locked up and down until June so it may be necessary to do some cautious cleaning. I have found a dry cleaner but wear fewer shirts in lock-down, dress-down. What’s maddening is the lack of time to read. Sometimes I wake up in the night and can get in an hour of Patrick O’Brian.