Fellow Irishman, blogger and all-round good chap, Tim, aka Lord Belmont, reported recently on a Christmas shopping expedition to Molton Brown. He notes that MB is now By Appointment. What would I have done in his buffed brogues if Her Majesty had come into the shop?
No time to write to the Dear Mary column in The Spectator. Where’s Betty Kenward when you need her? Quick action required. A dash for freedom in the street would look rude and possibly result in being popped at by a trigger-happy bodyguard. Only thing is to turn towards Her and bow slowly and deeply, arms extended rigidly at attention. Crisis: she has mistaken me for a shop assistant. Nothing for it but to show her the full range of smells, soaps, et cetera on offer. Hand soap is easily explained but it is hard to convey my discomfiture showing The Queen body washes and scrubs. Thank heavens we aren’t in Boots. When HM has made Her choices I present a genuine shop assistant to HM to complete the formalities. Is gift wrapping required? The royal blue paper will do nicely.
An equerry asks if I might be available to accompany HM on further shopping trips as Royal Shopper, By Appointment. At this point I wake up from this unnerving dream and remember that I have not attended to my own Christmas shopping; a nightmare.
Tricky one, this. I’d have checked myself to make sure I hadn’t mistaken HM for an imposter; double-checked. Then, if HM had caught my eye and recognized me (!), you are spot on, Christopher.
I’d have bowed respectfully and likely uttered the words “Your Majesty”.
We’d have had a little chat about the weather and I’d have asked HM if she had an MVO or LVO in the royal handbag in the form of a prezzie for a loyal supporter or aide.
Sir John Gorman – remarkable character – once told an interesting anecdote: He was Security Director of British Airways at the time and accompanying the Royal Party on aircraft during a royal tour.
At the end of the tour, en route to the UK, Her Majesty asked for Sir John. He walked to HM’s compartment, where The Queen greeted him and personally expressed her gratitude for his service on the tour.
HM opened her handbag and present him with a medal. Sir J afterwards showed the said medal to another official, who asked him if if knew which medal it was.
Sir John did not. The other chap apprised him that it was the insignia of a Commander of the Royal Victorian Order (CVO).
Great anecdote, what?
On 7th June, 1939, Sir Alan Lascelles was knighted by George VI on a train in New York State on the way to Buffalo. The ceremony was informal, Lascelles refers to the King giggling. He was Assistant Private Secretary to the King at the time.