Coriolanus Chronicle IV

You may have noticed that there has been no mention of riparian walks up to Richmond recently. The towpath is narrow but walkers are good at stepping into the bushes to pass safely.

Cyclists and joggers are not so easy to avoid. They bomb along relentlessly. These days I either walk Bertie on a lead in the cemetery which is fine but he doesn’t get to stretch his legs. So about twice a week we get in the car and drive to Wimbledon Common. It was a hellish journey – getting through Putney High Street was as quick as getting through immigration at JFK in the old days. Do you remember the old days? Jetting off to European cities for self-indulgent weekends. Complaining, under ones breath ‘cos the waiters spoke a bit of English even in those days, about the dilatory service at a café on the Left Bank but thoroughly enjoying going foreign.

We were  in Paris in May last year and saw an obese beagle tottering along by an owner, herself far from the fresh bloom of svelte youth. It gave me cause for thought as the very next day we drove to Stoke-on-Trent to collect tiny, eight-week old Bertie. I fervently hoped that Bertie would not run to fat like that. He doesn’t, because he takes plenty of exercise but I feel a bit troubled as we drive to Wimbledon. Is it “necessary travel”? I think it is, as it’s safer than bumping into people on the crowded pavements and towpath. It is a drive of fewer than twenty minutes but what would a police person say if he/she/ungendered were officiously to interrogate us? Individuals in any organisation can be capricious but this is of what they should be aware.

”Regulation 6 of the The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (England) Regulations 2020 states no person may leave the place where they live without a reasonable excuse. This does not apply to homeless people (Reg. 6(4)).” What is a reasonable excuse?

“Driving to countryside and walking (where far more time is spent walking than driving)” is reasonable, says the guidance; so as we walk for more than two hours the journey is within the law. Most of the benches and seats on the Common have tape to prevent people sitting down, rather like chairs in National Trust houses. The police guidance is “stopping to rest or to eat lunch while on a long walk” is reasonable. “A short walk to a park bench, when the person remains seated for a much longer period“ is unreasonable. This is police guidance for England, so Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland may have different policies. Indeed, if you are reading this outside the UK you are probably facing different challenges. If you wake up in the night feeling anxious, don’t worry it’s normal.

I find myself calling the virus Coriolanus. It’s not Much Ado About Nothing, for sure, but let’s hope it will eventually be All’s Well That Ends Well.