Here are some tips: never say “how are you?” to anybody over sixty; never, ever, ask if they have had problems with a printer. It is safer to ask after children and grandchildren.
I was given Emily Post’s original (1922) edition of Etiquette for Christmas. If I may digress, Treasurers of small organisations gang up so I like to swap stories with my friend, Hon Treasurer of an exclusive terrier club. She has the 1955 edition of Etiquette but my problem is not covered by dear Emily in either edition.
You possibly have heard of Piers Morgan? He was sacked from his job as a 21st century David Frost for calling out the Duchess of Sussex as a liar. Was she? In Hollywood she was a star, of sorts; in the Royal Household, she wasn’t, thought she wasn’t being shown enough respect, took it out on the RH and enjoyed taking revenge on courtiers with whom she was out of touch.
Between jobs it’s important to do something. To digress, years ago a white van driver applied to join our oil futures desk. He had been a banker and had a wife and children to support. He was and is a great success but the point is he didn’t stay at home hoping for the right job.
That’s why I admire Piers Morgan. He signed up to wash cars but, dear Emily, I was unsure if I should recognise him or tip him. In the end I did neither, nor did I point out some smears on the bodywork. Anyway his work ethic has pulled him through and tomorrow he will be on telly interviewing Donald Trump. Like Frost’s interview with Nixon, he may have a media resurrection.
Now can I tell you about our new printer; a behemoth sitting like an elephant on a thimble?
If you are buying an HP printer it is good news and bad news; they make it virtually impossible for you to avoid or decline their offer to supply you with ink online, and if you refuse and try to buy and install ink separately you are asking for trouble. Sign up and you never have to think about levels or types or supplies of ink again; it just turns up unannounced and unordered but keeps track perfectly with your usage – while £10 per month painlessly disappears from your bank account; no retail warehouse overhead there.
The downside is that a little man or woman in Texas knows how much you are printing and if it’s mono- or multi chrome. So what?
The upside is that when you’re printer goes wrong (yes, they do) two hours spent in the telephone company of a charming Tunisian or Croatian on their hotline is time well spent.
Like me you are over sixty? Don’t get me started!