When did you last take a proper picnic onto an aeroplane for a scheduled flight? Government and private jets don’t count, Oliver.
Digby Anderson used to write a quirky food column in The Spectator and advised starting with a bucket of oysters. I forget what came next but it probably involved making a stinging aioli to go with some white fish and then a pongy blue cheese to round off with.
The only really good ‘plane picnic I have ever concocted was in 1998 on an Ethiopian Airlines flight from London to Addis Ababa. Even then the cabin crew was a bit doubtful and thought that maybe I was about to light a cooking fire in the aisle. I ordered cold, jointed grouse from the food hall at Harvey Nichols. Top tip; Harvey Nichols in Knightsbridge is en route to Heathrow. Then it was simplicity itself to get some fresh bread, salad and cheese. Oh yes, and a good red Burgundy. Try taking that through security and being allowed to tuck into same these days.
Two other things have changed, at least if you fly BA. The flight from Heathrow to Oslo was overbooked and, when you check in, it now costs £15 to change seat. I am resigned to sitting in a centre seat in the back row by the lavs for evermore. One consolation is that sitting in the tail is supposed to be marginally safer in the event of a crash.