Something Fresh

As you know, the Royal Family do not carry money.

How does google maps know I might like to visit a beagle friendly pub? But I digress. The Princess of Wales probably does not frequent The Prince Of Wales with cocker spaniel, Orla, but she might pop out to top up the larder. Whole Foods is the closest but it’s pricey and she has to queue at the till and use ready money. I am not going to write “as you know” ‘cos I’ll bet my boots you don’t know, Whole Foods is owned by Amazon, like AbeBooks. And most likely you own a sliver of Amazon – I do in more than one investment trust.

To digress, I happen to know from a reliable source (my eyes at the till) that Prince Harry shopped at Waitrose in Belgravia. Is there a Morrisons in Montecito? Alliteration is an addictive ‘abit. But I must crack on. Two years ago Amazon opened a store in Ealing Broadway, Amazon Fresh. Now there are nineteen branches in London, one of which is four minutes walk west of Whole Foods on Kensington High Street. I visited yesterday morning – no sign of royalty.

You cannot shop here without an Amazon account with a saved payment method. If you cannot surmount these hurdles, walk along to Waitrose. At AF you scan a bar code to get in – it’s like scanning a boarding card at an airport. Then you browse the shelves and put what you fancy in your shopping basket. My mother always used a basket but I seldom see one these days, even in Kensington. Then you walk out without paying. About an hour later Amazon sends a receipt. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, I bought courgettes but was billed for mushrooms. The lowly shelf stacker must have put mushrooms on the courgette shelf and vice versa. That will screw up stock control. Shopping at AF is a novelty, like eating in a Japanese restaurant where the food comes round on a conveyor belt like an airport luggage reclaim. It is a purveyor of staple requirements, doesn’t step on Waitrose’s toes for range and quality and is unlikely to appeal to the P of W; although I did buy an unhealthy all-day breakfast sandwich for lunch and her husband might appreciate some prole fodder. It’s a concept that will work in railway stations, airports and places like that. Who wants to wait in a queue at an unmanned till at WH Smith and be told to check the bagging area?

Not a location for an Amazon Fresh – a shrinking population.