The Efficient Eimear

Unlike Lord Emsworth my grandfather rather enjoyed having a secretary. He called her Miss Tappitt, not to her face.

Eimear came once a week to Barmeath when I was a sulky teenager. I looked forward to her visits. She drove over from Slane, where she was Mount’s secretary (The Earl of Mount Charles). In her small car were two whippets and a typewriter. Should she decide to write a memoir that’s the title. We took the dogs for a walk and I lugged the typewriter into my grandfather’s study. Now it was about 11.00 so my grandfather thought she might faint if she wasn’t given a cup of coffee. Then, I suppose, there was a bit of tapping on the typewriter until it was time for lunch. My grandparents, mother and I were super-interested in the goings on at Slane – much grander than Barmeath – and Eimear obliged.

Towards the end of lunch Grandpa would ask Eimear to “warm up the set”. This meant going up to the library and turning on the television. My grandfather thought the crystals had to be warmed up. Then Grandpa would write down his bets and Eimar conveyed them to the bookmaker over the telephone. We trooped upstairs and spent an enjoyable afternoon watching the racing. My grandfather was a good amateur jockey (see posts passim) and if it was a close race sat forward on the sofa with his hands between his knees as if he was riding out the finish.