White Mischief

“We, Seth, Emperor of Azania, Chief of the Chiefs of Sakuyu, Lord of Wanda and Tyrant of the Seas, Bachelor of the Arts of Oxford University, being in this the twenty-fourth year of our life, summoned by the wisdom of Almighty God and the unanimous voice of our people to the throne of our ancestors, do hereby proclaim…” (Black Mischief, Evelyn Waugh, 1932)

His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular and King of Scotland (uncrowned). (Wikipedia)

Henry I, King of Haiti, Defender of the Faith, Richard Evans, circa 1816.

“Henry Christophe (1767-1820), Haiti’s only king, was one of the most unusual figures in nineteenth-century Caribbean history. Of obscure origins, he served under the famous Toussaint Louverture in the war of independence that turned the French colony of Saint-Domingue into the free nation of Haiti. Three years later, in 1807, Christophe assumed control of the northern part of the country as president and generalissimo, and in 1811 he made himself king.

One of King Henry’s first acts was to create a court and a nobility, elevating his leading supporters to the rank of chevalier, baron, count, duke or prince, and to grant coats of arms to every title-holder. The Armorial Général du Royaume d’Hayti, published in its entirety here, is a contemporary manuscript from Haiti (now preserved in the collections of the College of Arms with the shelfmark JP.177) recording in colour the arms of the king himself, the queen, the prince royal, the capital city (Cap-Henry, now Cap-Haïtien) and 87 men who held titles of nobility between 1812 and 1814.

The heraldry of the short-lived kingdom of Haiti is intriguingly both like and unlike its European equivalents. Like them, it is replete with curious beasts and monsters, and the accoutrements of war ancient and modern. The charmingly painted domestic animals and fowl, however, and the occasional, disarming appearance of more mundane items such as a watering-can, a bookcase or a rake, show that the European basis of heraldry has been taken and developed with considerable inventiveness and fantasy.” (College of Arms)

Napoleon proclaimed himself Emperor of the French; Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector. Both rewarded their followers with titles. Cromwell dubbed knights and created baronetcies and peerages. Incidentally his Peers looked a bit shifty after the Restoration.

The Honours system in the UK, mocked by Evelyn Waugh and adopted by Idi Amin and Henry Christophe, is curious. Almost all the recipients on the foothills have earned recognition and an investiture at Buckingham Palace is their reward. But … the recipients at the sharp end, depressingly, are MPs kicked upstairs, political donors and industrialists. I will cast a veil over civil servants, clergy and army officers because in a life of selfless (low pay) service to the State in some cases they earned it. I make an exception for Knights of the Garter and Thistle, OMs and other titles in the gift of the monarch. If she chooses some dodgy bishops, others choose worse knights. It’s the pawns who deserve their gongs.