Earlier this year I posited that the expanded London Ultra Low Emissions Zone, effective in 2021, will stop me owning a car. Well, I can change my mind, can’t I?
How did I know I was going to have a beagle? Beagles need wheels, Bertie says, so he and Robert and I went to choose something suitable. Bertie’s opinion is important as he’s more likely to pass the driving test than Robert*. I haven’t bought a car for nineteen years but I still remember the salesman who patronised me, infuriated me and, fortunately, exposed his stupidity; he made a slip and when I asked for £2,000 off the price he gave in. He never realised his slip.
So what’s changed? It depends I suspect on the salesperson and there are probably lots of old school Arthur Daleys around but we were lucky. Blonde Georgina (not her real name) in a black top, black trousers and high heels is a professional. Obviously she was surprised at most of my questions – me not having bought a car since 2000 – but she had the answers.
Because we are at home every evening keeping Bertie company we have bought all the Fawlty Towers episodes. I thought of Basil Fawlty as I dashed between thirsty Bertie, impatient Robert and Georgina, keen to sell a used car. By the way, opinion at the showroom diverged. Georgina’s boss and some potential buyers were mad about Bertie; the petrol-heads on the staff were mad about the antique BMW. Unfortunately not mad enough as, although it looks almost new, it’s not worth much.
Don’t play poker with Georgina. She knows how much I can spend but hasn’t shown her hand yet. I’m meeting her this morning to talk turkey but she hasn’t made a slip and I don’t think I’m in a strong position. I was one-up when she wanted to inspect my car. She couldn’t start it because cars don’t start that way these days. Her boss, although younger than me, knew and we exchanged looks.
It’s a funny old thing but a lot of folk will nickel and dime over buying a used car but pay way over the top to financial advisers, accountants and fund managers.
*Inserted to see if Bertie or Robert read the blog.
Now, wheels up, it’s Where Beagles Dare.
Bertie has clearly taken the hearts of his humans. Not only a swish , top of the range, doggy bed but now a car. I hope you have been updating him on environmental issues and he is choosing ecology over good looks.
Very dramatic. Looking forward to the “reveal” of the new wheels. Taking a puppy to distract is a novel tactic.