Lock-Down at Blandings

Pub Sign, The Empress of Blandings, Copythorne, Hampshire.

I confess I haven’t found living under lock-down a great hardship. Others, with piles in the country, you know what I mean, have taken the opportunity to improve their curtilages and undertake neglected maintenence. How has Lord Emsworth adapted to the regime?

A ray of sunshine peeping through a mullioned window at Blandings Castle found a contented Lord Emsworth reading about the dietary requirements of Berkshire sows, something he, like the sows, couldn’t get enough of. His son, Freddie, was locked-down on Long Island, his sister, Constance, self-isolating in the Garden Room and for once Blandings wasn’t playing host to imposters and pig-nappers. Snail and lark were correctly aligned on thorn and wing; all was right with the world.
But as so often happens, fate chose this moment to slip a spanner in the soufflé. Fate materialised in the form of Beach bearing a silver salver with the morning post. “Thank you Beach; something from the Shropshire Agricultural Society – capital, capital.” As he read the letter his pince-nez started from its mooring and the ray of sunshine tactfully withdrew. The annual Show cancelled; the Empress of Blandings denied the opportunity to win the Fat Pig class for a record-breaking third successive year.

 

4 comments

  1. A reader comments:
    “There is a rare and ancient breed of Oxfordshire pig called the Plum Pudding. It lends its name to a local (to me) pub in the village of Milton in what is now Oxfordshire but used to be Berkshire. It may, or may not, look like the pig depicted on the pub sign.”

    1. I can only prescribe more cream cakes for the empress and a few port tastings with beach for Lord Emsworth for the pain.

      1. First thank you for “subscribing” to my website. Secondly, I’m mad, in a good way, about your email address but I will respect your privacy.

        1. Glad to be on board. I like to hear from interesting people who have something to say rather than their latest selfie. I’ve had the email address for many years, before the latest craze for pink gin. Besides Wodehouse I’m an Agatha Christie fan. “Pink gin” is one of the cocktails mentioned and a drink of the twenties as I’m sure you are aware.

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