Woof Woof!

This is doggerel verse by Lance Percival.

“Butch the Beagle’s a hound dog, and although he’s merry and bright,
Leave him at home, he’ll make sure the neighbours are up all night.
He never comes when you call him, which hardly needs explaining:
Butch the Beagle’s a hound dog, and hound dogs don’t need training.

Take him out for a walk, and he’ll simply disappear,
Sniffing round the corn stubs, trying to find a hare.
I asked a Beagle Master, down in Dorset at the time,
If they’d ever caught a hare. He said, “Yes, in ‘69”.

But don’t tear your hair out he’s a great family pet;
Just because he’s obstinate, no need for you to fret.
He’s one of the most friendly and most loyal dogs around.
But Butch is still a Beagle, and a Beagle is a hound.

Butch has asked if he can add a P.S. to this verse: –
‘Thank you Lance, we Beagles have a grudge that’s getting worse.
We have no real objections to you humans daily choking,
But Beagles as a breed, are strictly anti-smoking’.”

If you have a Labrador there’s a poem for you and yours:

“Wendy is a Labrador, whose joy is sniffing grass.
Not the stuff in fields and parks, I’m talking about grass.
Wendy’s a police dog and she’s finely trained to know
If there’s drugs in any luggage which has landed at Heathrow …”